Chick Chat

Wow, what a week last week with four deaths within days of one another: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays.  It almost seems surreal that four celebrities would lose their lives in one week.

One of the things I’ve realized over the years, especially when we almost lost our youngest daughter after her last heart surgery, is how precious life really is, but how much I take it for granted.  Do you suppose these people embraced life at the very end?  In Farrah Fawcett’s case, I believe she did for the simple fact she knew she was deteriorating.

Do you take life for granted?  Are you living each day with peace and freedom, and with no regrets?  Would you know where you’d spend eternity?  How often I hear that people choose not to make time for God, or making things right with others, or forgiving self or others.  I’m amazed how others would choose to run from temporary pain and miss out completely on the freedom and peace that comes from working through that pain.  As a former therapist, I saw this all too often.  As a lifecoach, I still see this all too often.

I say let’s choose life! Identify what you need to do to make your life complete and fulfilling without artificial means. (dream job, huge house, lots of money, etc)  Those temporary things will never fulfill you completely.  It was amazing when I did Chaplain work in a hospital, that in the end, people would choose God to fill the void they spent their whole life chasing to fill.

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” works with young women who want to gain more confidence & live their talents on a daily basis.
An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.
Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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Well, this week starts all the activities my girls are involved in to keep them busy this summer.  I’ve realized that even though I’m taking the summer off from my business, my new full-time job is carting the kids to all their activities!

I guess I’d rather have them somewhat busy but not super busy where they don’t get to relax. It wouldn’t be summer if their schedules were packed with too many things.

What does your summer schedule look like?  Any creative moms out there with low/no cost activities that are kid favorites? What kinds of activities are you finding for your teen, tween, or elementary kids?

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” works with young women who want to gain more confidence & live their talents on a daily basis.
An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.
Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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Our 8-year old friend Tommy is fighting for his life two weeks after his heart transplant.  He’s showing signs of rejection after having a great first week post-transplant.  It has been a very long road that has lasted several years.  You can imagine the spiritual, physical and emotional toll it has taken on Tommy, his family and everyone else who is deeply involved in his case at the University of Michigan.

As my husband and I went through similar circumstances with our youngest daughter, Hannah with her heart surgeries, it is very hard to accept what we cannot control.  As a parent, if there was any way to take the place of my girl lying in the hospital bed, my husband and I would have done it in an instant.  Watching helplessly is a parent’s worst nightmare.  This feeling has been magnified for Tommy’s parents many times over through the years.

So, what do you do when you want to fight and not accept that you can’t control a situation?

1. There are times you may have to accept there is something beyond yourself that is at work.  For many, that is God.

2. Ask yourself:

-Did I cause it?

-Can I change it?

-Can I control it?

If you answer yes to any of those questions, then you will have to learn to let go.  Ask others to help you let go.  Build a support system to help you accept this new mindset.

3. Seek out others who have been in similar situations and ask for their wisdom on how they handled similar situations.

4. Pray for guidance, peace and comfort along with ways to handle the multiple feelings that go along with the situation that is out of your control.

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” works with young women who want to gain more confidence & live their talents on a daily basis.
An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.
Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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The Detroit Metro area is really up in arms over Chrysler’s recent bankruptcy and now GM. It’s hard to believe this has become the reality for the automotive industry.  As I work with people in career transition now, as compared to even last year, the reaction is fear and worry.

For anyone in career transition, the financial ramifications are usually immediate.  The fear and panic set in quickly.  Just like any crisis, it’s important to learn a few key elements to help you respond, rather than react.

What to do when crisis hits:

1.  Don’t make any impulse decisions- “Well, we’ll have to foreclose on our house, pack up and move to another state.” If you try to make immediate financial decisions without knowing all your options, you could wind up hurting, rather than helping yourself.

2. Turn fear into action.  People will react one of two ways in crisis: fight or flight.  Some are so shocked by crisis, that they can become paralyzed and do nothing.  For others, it catapults them into action.  After the initial shock wears off, gather resources (people or searching the web) to help you take action.  You don’t have to go through crisis alone.  There are many resources in the community or nearby communities that can help.

3. Pray/meditate. The Detroit Free Press just ran an article on how people in the automotive industry are turning to faith in these hard times.  When feeling overwhelmed, keep in mind you’re not alone.  God can provide peace, comfort and direction when you feel directionless and fearful.

4. Take daily ‘time outs.’ What I mean by time outs is an activity or project that will focus your mind on something else other than your crisis.  You can drive yourself crazy and lose sleep if you focus on your crisis 24/7.  Sleep deprivation and poor nutrition during crisis will hinder your ability to rise above and move beyond it.

5. Exercise.  This is crucial in times of crisis.  Your endorphins, serotonin and adrenaline levels will level out when you exercise.  If you normally lead a sedentary lifestyle, now is the time to just get up and move.  Take the dog out for more walks; take a 10 minute bike ride; lift light weights or walk in place while watching TV.  Do anything to get your body to move and it will help you with your mindset.

You can choose to become bitter or better from crisis.  With the above suggestions, your crisis could lead to only better opportunities!

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” works with young women who want to gain more confidence & live their talents on a daily basis.
An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.
Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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This past weekend, I brought home my foster care mentee to join our family for a BBQ.  Knowing that this girl had not been exposed to everything we shared with her, I wasn’t sure if she’d be overwhelmed or happy.  It turns out, she was happily exhausted! She slept on the way back to her residential facility, which was about 40 minutes away from our home.

I tried to guage her comfort  and energy level, but whenever I’d mention something new to do, her eyes would light up with great interest.  She jumped on a trampoline for the first time; we went bike riding, which was only the second time she had been on a bike; and my husband took her for a spin on the motorcycle.  I loved to see the smile and giggles from this 14 year- old girl.  When driving back, I asked her if the motorcycle ride was the most fun thing she did.  She said the whole day was fun!

There were a few intermittent times she watched TV.   I saw it as her way to show us more of her world as well.  Driving back to her home, we listened to really loud rap music (she slept through it!) with lyrics that would shock any parent, but I realized this is her world and what she is used to.  It’s a wonderful learning lesson for me as her mentor.

As my husband and I debriefed about the day, I saw how simple things can make a big difference in a teen’s world.  Really, even in a child’s world.  Children crave time with adults.  Are you taking some time out each day to connect with your children?  Even if you’re not a parent, can you devote a few minutes to either a child or adult you know could use a few minutes just to connect?  I believe we all need connection.

Some ideas to connect with teens:

1. Ask what the best part of his day was.

2. If they’re on the computer, ask her how she maneuvers through all the tech stuff.  Teens are very knowledgeable about the computer.  My 15 year-old daughter has taught me so much when I’ve been stuck!

3. Listen to his music. Talk about the lyrics and what it means to him.

4. Take her to a movie she wants to see (if she’ll be seen in public with you).  Talk about it afterwards.

5. What was good and bad about the party he attended.

6. Play Guitar Hero or other games with her.

The list can go on, but do you see a theme here?  Connect with teens in their world. Be willing to enter their world and let them show you what it’s about.  The generation gap comes from trying to instill expectations from one group onto another group who doesn’t understand the context of the delivery.

Talk to other parents and get ideas of what they have done to connect with their kids.  As parents of teens, we could use all the ideas and support we can get!

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” works with young women who want to gain more confidence & live their talents on a daily basis.
An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.
Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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My middle daughter wound up having the flu over the weekend.  She got sick while she was goalie in her soccer game, took a time out, but went back in 15 minutes later and was fine the rest of the game.  Her team was short a few players, so she stuck it out to help her team win 5-0.

Her body was completely wiped out.  She fell asleep on the way home from the game and slept all afternoon.  She was up for a few hours, still unwilling to eat anything, but I made her drink plenty of fluids before going back to bed.  She had a fever and her eyes were watery and bloodshot, so she went to bed and was asleep within minutes.

We knew we were out of the woods with her when she woke up at 4:30am hungry and wanting to eat.  I had her just drink more fluids and wait until it was a normal hour to wake up and eat!  She woke up with no fever and looked 100% better than the day before.  She still laid around, which is what her body needed to continue recovering.  The nice thing at her age of 10, she still listens to mom and dad, and won’t push herself if we tell her not to.  (unlike a certain teenager in our home!)  We were ever so thankful that it truly was a 24-hour virus in her case.  Today she’s back to her normal perky self.

How about you?  Do you listen to your body when you’re not feeling right?  I am definitely guilty of pushing myself beyond my limits at times to meet a deadline, do something with my family, or not cancel something just to meet my commitments.  Here are some of the things that can happen if you don’t take care of your body when its talking to you:

1. Your symptoms could get worse.

2. You can prolong the illness.

3. You could be contagious to more people.

4. You are much less productive.

5. You are probably not in a happy mood, which makes everyone else just as miserable!

Ask yourself, is this_______(deadline, project, etc.) really immediate that I must get it done now when I feel miserable?  If it truly is a work deadline, can I delegate or defer for even a day?  Chances are you could.

For my daughter, sleep was absolutely necessary in order for her body to recover as quickly as it did from the virus.  Whether you have pain somewhere in your body, or just feeling ‘off,’ get it checked out with a doctor.  You could be saving your life by taking time  not to ignore it.

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” works with young women who want to gain more confidence & live their talents on a daily basis.
An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.
Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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There is a book that came out years ago by Gary Chapman called “The 5 Love Languages.”  Since it’s first book, several niche versions have appeared throughout the years as well.  One of them is “The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers.”  Even though it is the same five languages as the original book, it has more practical ways you can meet the needs of your teen’s love language.

Our 15 year-old’s love languages are gift giving and quality time.  If I make cookies for her and her sisters, she’s thrilled.  If I play MarioKart on the Wii with her, she’s thrilled.  By taking the time to get to know how she ticks, what she likes, and how she interacts with her friends, it shows me how to interact with her in a way we can connect.  The teen years are hard enough, especially Freshman year in high school, but having spontaneous conversations in her room, on twitter or through email, allows me to enter her world and understand her better.

Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages are:

1. Quality time

2. Acts of service

3. Receiving gifts (trust me, it does not have to be expensive!)

4. Physical touch (non-sexual)

5. Words of affirmation

Our other two girls have very different love languages, so we need to adapt our parenting style accordingly.  Take the time to get to know your kids outside of all their activities and see what they really need.  Tapping into their love language will help their self-esteem and build a stronger relationship that will weather the storms of the teen years!

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick” works with young women who want to gain more confidence and live their true talents on a daily basis.

Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com to learn more about Lynn’s programs for young women.

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Genuine kindness definitely goes a long way.  I am always humbled when I meet someone who is very generous with time, energy or resources and expects nothing in return.

Last week, I met Christine Martinello, a fellow speaker, who referred me to another speaker who works in the industry I plan to pursue. I spoke with Bob Dansig, former V.P. of Hearst Corporation, who now is a motivational speaker and author who does philanthropic work in the foster care industry.  Since the foster care industry is a niche I would like to speak to, I asked Bob some specific questions about resources and how he got started in the foster care industry.  I had asked for 15 minutes of his time and he gave me 25 minutes.  He even came up with the title of my book that would be niche-specific to the foster care industry.

Bob was a wealth of information who was willing to give of his time to help a fellow National Speaker’s Association member.  I am so grateful for people like Bob, who are genuinely kind and willing to help others out.

How about you?  Would you say you have a kind, generous spirit that is willing to help when opportunities arise?  Or are you too focused on your own life and business?  I’d like to suggest that when you take the time to reach out or take advantage of opportunities to help, you never know how that could very well change a person’s life or perspective.

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” works with girls who want to gain more confidence and live their true talents on a daily basis.

An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.

Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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Fresh back from a mini-Spring break getaway with my family and ready to hit the ground running.  I have early mornings all this week, but I get to be with cool people. That makes it easier!

One of the things I found myself doing over the break is even though I was in my home office while my girls were hanging out with friends, I had that vacation mentality that I really had very little energy for work I knew I needed to get done.  Instead of forcing myself, I actually gave myself permission NOT to do work and didn’t even feel guilty when I chose the gorgeous weather instead of work!

You might be thinking, “Well, she isn’t going to make any money with that mentality.”  Can I just say that my first quarter earnings are the most I’ve made in my six years of business! I believe well-focused business activities and a balanced mindset will go far for everyone in business.

Tips to help you be more productive/make more money:

1. Don’t compromise your integrity.  I’ve known too many people over the years who have compromised their ethics and integrity for the mighty dollar.  Compromised integrity leads to a poor reputation.  A bad reputation won’t bring you business.

2. Prioritize. Stick with the activities that will show others your expertise.  Post articles you have written on www.ezinearticles.com; Network on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter; speak on your favorite topics in your niche market.

3.  Stick with your niche. You can’t be jack-of-all-trades master-of-none. Be very clear about your products and services and whom you serve.  As the saying goes ‘The riches are in the niches.’

4. Give yourself permission to play when you need it.  If you have to force yourself to do work you love to do, it’s time for a break.  You’ll be refreshed and ready to work.  Balance is a necessity, not an option!

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” Communication/Personal Development expert empowers Generation Y to get what they want while keeping it real.
An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.
Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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I have been working with a lot of people in career transition lately as an independent contractor with a global career transition company.  If it’s one thing we want candidates to take away from their classes on updating resumes, etc. is that they must be well-networked in today’s job market.  Over 80% of people are landing jobs through networking, but I’m amazed how many job seekers still have the mentality that a good resume and cover letter will get them noticed on Monster.com or Career Builder.com.  I have yet to meet someone in the last year who has landed a job through one of these sites.

Ways to Build Your Network:

1. Start with who you know.  These are your “A” contacts.  Talk to your CPA, hairdresser, Insurance agent or others you know who are in contact with a lot of different kinds of people on a daily basis.  They are already connected to many others who could help you.

2. Be very clear about your career objective and type of work you want.  The more specific you are, the better people will be able to help you in your search.  If you pull the jack-of-all-trades master of none card, you’ll go no where fast.  Quit reacting and be proactive-you’ll have more successful results.

3. Find people in the niche market/industry you are pursuing and ask questions pertaining to the job market in that industry-trends, challenges, etc. Talking to someone for information rather than passing along your resume will give you better results and possibly referrals to decision makers who might interview you!

4. Networking is 100% the way that our candidates are landing jobs these days.  Retained recruiters are helping our executive level people to some degree, but most are still landing through networking.

Be Proactive, Not Reactive to the job market.  It will get you to the job you’re looking for.

Lynn Jarrett, “The Life Balance Chick,” Communication/Personal Development expert empowers Generation Y to get what they want while keeping it real.
An international bestselling author, check out Lynn’s latest book in her ‘Hip Chick’ series “The Hip Chick’s Guide to Success in College & Beyond.”  It is designed especially for college women.
Visit www.thelifebalancechick.com and click on the home page’s “ASK LYNN” button to ask for feedback on your biggest life challenges.

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